Have you ever thought about adopting a kid?💔
⛔️“At first I regretted taking a child from the orphanage. As we filled out the paperwork, visited the orphanage, and waited for the decision, we were convinced we were doing the right thing.”⛔️
💔The worst decision and its consequences in comments⬇️⬇️
I like to sleep in on the weekends, but it doesn’t always work out that way. My husband stands in the kitchen early in the morning and brews coffee.
I hear the hum of the coffee grinder in the background. Even better, I hear our son Ivan’s loud screams: “Dad, turn it off! You’re waking up mom!” But my husband doesn’t pay any attention, and I hear the approaching footsteps, like a small herd of calves, and a tiny voice in my ear: “Mommy, daddy is going to wake you up now! But I brought you some cotton balls… Cover your ears.” I wake up completely and am almost in tears.
My son, I cannot bring myself to call him “adopted.” We adopted Ivan and now we are experiencing all the joys of parenthood. But that wasn’t always the case.
At first I regretted taking a child from the orphanage. As we filled out the paperwork, visited the orphanage, and waited for the decision, we were convinced we were doing the right thing.
But then we had to admit that despite our noble intentions, pride and vanity still existed within us. We felt like heroes, expecting applause and gratitude, even from the child, strangely enough…
We adopted Ivan when he was four years old. We don’t have biological children, and as the doctors told us, we won’t have any. Two failed abortions in my youth had their dark consequences… IVF? Too expensive, scary and not always successful.
So my husband Anton and I decided to make an orphaned child happy, feeling like we were doing a good deed. But it turned out to be anything but easy.
The first few months of dealing with the child turned into a kind of nightmare for us. He obviously sensed us: he was simultaneously afraid that we would reject him and take him away, while at the same time he seemed to be trying to make it happen.
He behaved terribly, called us names, threw things and even threw his plate on the table at lunch just to see our reaction…
Fearful thoughts were already fighting in my head: Maybe we should return him to the orphanage? Maybe he would be better off there? He doesn’t love us…
What helped was that we brought Ivan home at the end of October, and a few months later it was New Year’s Eve. When he saw the Christmas tree, the presents, when we visited relatives with the children, he behaved calmer. He asked, “Will we visit again next New Year’s Eve?” I said, “Of course we will!” Maybe it meant to him that we wouldn’t leave him.
When the tantrums finally subsided, we really started to bond. But it took a year! A whole year of getting used to each other…
No, he didn’t become the perfect child. But he tries very hard. The most important thing is that he finally feels our love. For me he is the most dear and precious, but… maybe I couldn’t love the child right away, and he felt it… hence his terrible behavior. People! If you want to give a home to a child from the orphanage, remember that it won’t be easy. These children are not always “easy to manage.” They are like hedgehogs – they will test your reaction to anything and everything…
